Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
