I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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