Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize