No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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