You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
