we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
