I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
