I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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