Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
