You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Sober January is a disaster.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
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