She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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