I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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