I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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