Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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