Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
