he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
