I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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