my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
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Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
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He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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