You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
