im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
They took my balls.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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