I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
My liver just had a heart attack.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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