you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
