why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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