I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
