You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
