so that wasnt chicken after all
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
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He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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