When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
