i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
