Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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