You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
