so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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