I hope mine doesn't look like that
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
