so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
