I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
