just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
