Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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