I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize