eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
