Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I AM VODKA MAN
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
