i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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