Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
When are your genitals available?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
