It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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