Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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