It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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