I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
