Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
