she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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