phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
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He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
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I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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