You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
