if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Your cock deserves a montage
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize