So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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