Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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