Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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