I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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