What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize