I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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