k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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