tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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