I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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