Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
