another moral hangover. fuck.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
