Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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